Indonesian Polite Things You Need To Know!

You might come to Indonesia and think … wow Indonesians are so polite and friendly! You may even experience different things while you are on vacation in Indonesia. Every region has its characteristics, culture, traditions, customs, and beliefs, therefore the way we treat or speak to you might also be different in every region. Some might not even understand Bahasa Indonesia! So here are some polite things you want to remember when you are in Indonesia:

1. Place your hand in front of your chest after shaking hands with someone. When you just made an acquaintance with someone or a local, Indonesians often put their hand in front of their chest after shaking their hands. This gesture is to show as if they are putting you in their hearts as someone valuable or deeply connected with. Oftentimes, we do this gesture as a sign of respect for the reason I mentioned. You can also try to do this to show that you understand the local culture and also show respect to them as someone you just know or acquaintance with. 

2. Calling/Addressing someone with their title. Indonesia is all about respect, especially for strangers and elderly people. With this being said, whenever you want to talk or call someone whom you have no idea about - a waitress, friend, family member, etc... You want to address them by their title. This is such as calling someone by the title of "Sir or Ma'am" in English.

We have a few that are similar to English and wider and deeper than English, for an older male you want to call them by the title Bapak/Pak (Mister/Sir), while for the older woman is Ibu/Bu (Madam/Ma'am). Now in English, it's usually these two only right? And the rest you call them by name, but in Indonesia... we're doing more than just that. For someone who is your age (teenage years or young adult), you can call them by referring to them as "Kakak/Kak" which means older sibling (gender neutral- can be for female or male). This older sibling has nothing to do with blood relation, like Mr. and Mrs., and goes the same for everyone you meet that are in their young adult years.

You might also hear sometimes we say "Mbak" (for female) or "Mas" (for male), both mean the same as an older sibling. These words are from the Javanese language - which is a local/regional language that every island in Indonesia has - and somehow assimilated into everyone's language in every part of Indonesia. 

3. Bow or lower your upper body when passing someone in the middle. Okay, what does this mean? This means, to show respect that you are not or doesn't mean to interrupt someone who is in the middle of the room - watching TV, standing, near the doorway, or something else - while they are with other people. We also usually do this when someone is speaking with other people and we wanna pass by them. In a way, when you lower your upper body it is sort of like putting your head in the way or blocking those who are speaking with each other. This action is followed by saying "permisi" or "maaf" which means excuse me or sorry. 

4. Using right hand. Most Indonesia are right-handed people, so we eat, take, and give something with our right hand. We shake someone's hand by giving our right hand to them, the same way when we give food to other people or give a hand to help them, also eat, wash our body,  write etc. Hence, our main hand use is right and during childhood, families might tell children to use their right hand to accept a gift, to give salam to elder, to wave goodbye, and often they will say to children "tangan kanan tangan bersih" which mean right hand is clean hand, so the children would remember to do things with their right hand as the main used hand. 

With that, the left hand was told (to children) as the "tangan kotor" or dirty hand, because we don't use this hand to eat, to write, but rather use this hand to clean our private area (also to why if you are in Indonesian toilet, you always find the bidet is on the left!). So that's why when shaking hands with someone and/or to give/take something from/to someone, remember to use the right hand! We feel impolite if we give you something with our left hand, due to the reasons I've mentioned, so sometimes we or you might find some Indonesian saying "Maaf" when giving you their left hand instead of right. 

Since now everything is pretty much modern, in the bathroom you might not find a bucket filled with water to clean your private area anymore, but rather the bidet. So actually, we barely ever use our left hand to clean (hahaha I feel quite embarrassed to explain this situation) and I don't find parents telling their kids that the left hand is the dirty hand anymore, but we still use our right hand and feel somewhat impolite if we use our left hand to give something to someone. Fear not though, as a lot of foreigners are left-handed and believe me there are a lot of Indonesians who are also left-handed, we'd excuse people who use their left hand. It is also understood if you are a foreigner and using your left hand because we might assume you are a left-handed person or do not know the culture, but now that you know this, do try to use your right hand :) 

5. Saying 'hi', smiling, and making small talk to people you are passing by. After spending some time in Indonesia you might find that Indonesians are both gemeinschaft and gesellschafts. Therefore connection and togetherness is important in our daily life. We love to chat, small talk, and be in social situations. Hence, when passing people on the street, waiting for something, or in public places, it is very common to just say a simple hi, smile at them, say good morning/afternoon/evening, and to some extent have a conversation with them! 

Having a conversation with them can also be about anything! Where are you from, how long have you been in Indonesia, what do you do, whether you are married or not, your likes and dislikes and vice-versa. When encountering this, do not worry that you might feel they are coming off strong, too much or too personal. You can always shake your head or change the subject if you feel uncomfortable with the questions. These topics are very common in Indonesian conversation which I know is the opposite of english/western culture.

So! All sum up to five Indonesian polite things you need to know or you might wanna try to have a more memorable experience and hopefully have meaningful moments here in Indonesia! Cheers to another holiday in Indonesia. 

If you have any questions or experiences you want to share, please do on the comment section below.  Sampai jumpa lagi!